Hello there sexy readers!
It’s me, Oleander, and I’m taking over Charlie’s blog for the day. Wow, she has a nice writing cave, I hope she doesn’t mind if I make myself at home.
*puts feet up on desk*
*turns on telly*
I told Charlie I was going to write a post on fighting depression with humor. I hope she doesn’t mind that I wasn’t in an ‘essay’ type mood, so I wrote a bit of filth instead.
He Thought/She Thought
by Oleander Plume
Holy crap, she’s wearing a thong! So fucking sexy. I wonder if I can take it off with my teeth.
Okay, Mark’s taking off my panties. He’s seeing me completely naked for the first time. I hope he doesn’t notice the little bloat in my belly. Oh, god, when did I shave my legs last? Yesterday? Today? He’s going to think I’m a fat, hairy beast. I hate impromptu sex. Damn it.
Katie is naked! Naked, naked, naked! Look at this body, this woman is smokin’ hot. Damn girl!
I should have listened to my mother and gotten that birthmark removed. I look like a freak. Pretty soon, I’ll grow a mustache just like Aunt Margaret. Mark will think of me as the hairy, bloated freak with the giant birthmark on her hip. He’ll never want to have sex with me again. I’ll die alone. Hmm, maybe if I get a boob job he won’t notice the other stuff.
Look at this cute little birthmark. It’s shaped like Italy. I think. Gotta get my tongue on that. Now, back to the titties. Sweet hard nipples. Which one should I taste first? Right, definitely. Mmmm. So nice and pointy under my tongue. Fuck, I’m so hard right now. How does she smell so good all the time? Damn, I love her boobs, they’re fucking perfect.
Oh, crap, he’s moving down to lick my snatch. I should have went with my sister and got that Brazilian wax. I probably look like I’m carrying around a pet monkey down there. What if I smell? Did I wipe good the last time I peed? What if he tastes pee? I’m going to die of embarrassment.
Hot damn and hallelujah I’ve wanted to get my face down here for weeks. Creamy and delicious. I wonder if she’ll let me put my finger up there. I’ll be really gentle, and if she flinches, I’ll take it right out. Here goes. Oh yeah, I’m in baby!
He is really good with his tongue. I hope I taste okay. Uh oh, his finger is going in. I hope he doesn’t stick more than one in there. I hate feeling like I’m being probed by my gynecologist. That’s nice, he’s so gentle. More tongue, yeah, that’s it. I hope I don’t stink.
It’s so tight up there. She tastes good. Juicy. So juicy. I’m gonna jizz myself if I don’t put my dick in here soon. Pussy, I am face deep in hot, delicious pussy…uhn-mother-fucker-yeah! Whoa, what a load, I trashed her sheets. Damn, that felt good. Okay, baby, your turn.
Wow, Mark can really eat pussy, I’m coming already! Wow, oh, wow – wait – concentrate, don’t make that goofy O face. Relax the face muscles. Relax. The. Face. Muscles. Oh, fuck, yeah, oh it’s good, so good – don’t wail, whimper, nice, soft whimpers…fuuuuuuck! Wow, that felt great! I hope I looked okay.
I made her come! Victory is mine. Sleep. Must sleep.
He’s not moving. Is he sleeping down there? Oh my god, I bored him to sleep. Yup, I’m going to die alone. Surrounded by cats. Sigh.