This is me – #SinfulSunday

You know when you are spooning in bed with a guy, him as the “big spoon”, you as the “little spoon”. The natural place for his arm to go around you to lie is across your stomach and I absolutely hate that!

In that situation I will always move the guys hand to either my breasts, my pussy or I’ll link fingers with him and pull his arm across me.

Why do I do this?

Because I absolutely hate my stomach. I have a proper pot belly.

If I breathe out it actually looks like I’m about 7 months pregnant! What’s worse is that over the past couple of months stretch marks have arrived on the body part I hate the most, making me detest it so much more. The fact that they are still new and red makes me so ashamed of it and extremely self conscious.

I started taking part in #Sinfulsunday to try and be more body positive. It was a good plan to start with, my second anonymous #SinfulSunday included my stomach (pre stretch marks) but since then it’s changed. I’ve realised that since then I’ve only posted pictures of the part’s of my body that I actually like i.e. my breasts. Those picture’s still normally require quite a few takes and some editing till I am 100% happy with them.

Purposefully I hide the parts of my body I hate and that is not being body positive. I know exactly why I do it. It’s so that people don’t see the things I hate in myself and are repulsed by them as much as I am.

After watching a video where blogger Matt Diaz revealed what his body now looks like after he incredibly lost over half his body weight really inspired me. If he is brave enough to do that, surely I can be brave enough to show the parts of my body that I hate.

This is my body. It is what it is and my life and experiences have made it what it is today, accepting that will only help to improve my own body image.

From the chicken pox scar on my right boob, to the birth mark on the back of my left leg, to the freckles and moles I inherited from both parents and the stretch marks, whether they are old or new.

This is me. image

No cropping out the bad bits.

No posing or holding my stomach in.

No editing.

This is the real me.

The lopsided boobs.

The big belly covered in stretch marks.

The unkempt pubic hair.
My body was created from having a good life.

Good eating, good drinking and good times.

How can I hate that?

How can I ever expect someone to accept the real me when I don’t accept it myself?

To view everyone else’s contributions this week, click on the lips.

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About Charlie

On twitter as @CharlieInThe
This entry was posted in #SinfulSunday and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

60 Responses to This is me – #SinfulSunday

  1. Beautiful and brave. I see a beautiful woman with a body that is definitely to be adored. Your proportions are gorgeous and even though you might not like it, your body looks sensual and so tempting to touch and stroke. I have challenged myself sometimes with my Sinful Sunday pics. It has taken a lot for me to stop being so hard on myself. I really think the Sinful Sunday community are great for when we do expose what makes us feel vulnerable. Xx

    • Charlie says:

      Thank you for this comment.
      You are right, this is a great community to be part of when exposing our vulnerability, that didn’t stop me from being incredibly nervous about post this picture though.

      • I think it is one of those ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ things.

      • Charlie says:

        Definitely 😃

      • The Shingle Beach says:

        Wow.
        I was toying with the idea of a picture of me in profile in the shower, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it – my reaction, despite liking who I am from the front and back, is still too negative to let me do that.
        There’s definitely a lot of taking deep breaths (and letting them back out again) involved in doing photos as brave and strong and beautiful as this.

      • Charlie says:

        Think posting a picture of my body in profile would of just been too much for me to handle. Even though this community is amazing I was still terribly scared about posting this picture. X

  2. silverdomuk says:

    You are beautiful. This comes through in the words and the picture.

  3. Kilted Wookie (@Kilted_Wookie) says:

    So brave and so beautiful. I don’t think anything more needs saying.

    KW

  4. You are beautiful and brave and lovely.

    Like you said, this is your body and with accepting it is so much better than being unhappy because you don’t like it. HappyComeLucky said it: it looks tempting to touch and stroke it.

    Please don’t hide parts of you anymore, as you are just lovely!

    Rebel xox

  5. KaziG says:

    Beautiful! I see nothing wrong with a body that has enjoyed living 🙂

    ~Kazi xxx

  6. Molly says:

    I think you look amazing. I love the wild pubic hair and your boobs are utterly magnificent and I rather like that the stretch marks seem to be creating a natural V shape guiding the eye down to between your thigh…. so cute

    Mollyxxx

  7. We all worry about our bodies and have times of self-doubt. And often sharing and communicating those worries . . . whether with loved ones, or even here amongst a community of like-minded people . . . gives us strength and inspiration.
    Your words and lovely photo show that have that strength within yourself perhaps more than you realise.
    Xxx – K

  8. Velvet Rose says:

    I also saw Matt Diaz’s video and plan to use it later in the week on my own blog.

    We are bombarded by airbrushed images in the media all the time and they are just totally dishonest and damaging to not only our young people but also potentially creating negativity and insecurities to the rest of us.

    This picture is utterly amazing I see womanhood in its best form, REAL.

    Velvet

  9. Exposing40 says:

    This is just so amazing – I love the words AND the image. Both so honest and your ability to hit ‘publish’ on this shows a confidence shining through that you might not even realise you have or that the rest of us can see. Xx

  10. Aaron says:

    I love the words that accompany this image and there is certainly nothing wrong that I see with the image at all

  11. Hudson Grant says:

    Charlie, as everyone is telling you, your body is beautiful and voluptuous. It tells your story, and channels your desires. Your boobs are wonderfully sensual, and your pubic hair is the mark of your womanhood. Your stomach is lovely. Love it yourself, many others will!

  12. Amelia says:

    I thoroughly respect you for posting this untouched image of yourself.

    I honestly know how difficult this must have been for you. That it required a huge amount of courage to go through with it.

    You’re vulnerable. Scared.

    But you have no need to be. I promise you. Most women (and men, too!) have stretch marks and it’s just the way it is. They’ll fade in time. I got stretch marks going through puberty and mine are translucent now and I had days where I deeply hated them too but then I figured they’re here to stay so I might as well learn to love them. So I did!

    You’re a tiger, wear those stripes with pride fierce girl. x

  13. Clive says:

    Well done you!! curves to be proud of, not hidden away 🙂

  14. Tom Wolf says:

    You’re very beautiful miss… And you’ve smacked the nail on the head- how can anyone hate what you’ve created in pleasure and enjoyment, I believe you to be very beautiful and very original… But your personality as depicted so well in your words are what makes you glow from the inside out. Just keep being you rather than being discouraged- “the right one” will find you and you him at precisely the right moment…

    Yes, this…

    MrTW

  15. Draco Dimanovic says:

    Very brave indeed

  16. cjdc74 says:

    A very beautifully written heartfelt piece to accompany a very beautiful picture

  17. Malin James says:

    You are so beautiful and *real*. As the possessor of stretch marks and tiny boobs and a body that keeps changing on me when I least expect it, I very much understand the impulse to edit the bits that make you uncomfortable. I do it too. The difference is that you’re brave enough to drop all that and show your unedited self in all its lovely, lovable, desirable gorgeousness. xx

  18. I am so fucking proud of you – I know and remember how hard it is to bare all that first time. And lady, you are smoking hot! I love your pubic hair, love your belly with its gorgeous tributaries, love your magnificent breasts. You are delectably cuddly and hot and it’s a privilege to know you 🙂

    xx Dee

  19. sexinbmore says:

    Bravo! It can be hard to have a positive body image for a lot of women. We need to embrace ourselves!

  20. Draco Dimanovic says:

    Very beautiful x

  21. I prefer his arm under mine and cupping my breasts too, feels more comfy. Beautiful picture, gorgeous body x

  22. bigbuttbbw says:

    I love this.

    Its natural, its brave, its facing your daemons, its a step towards at least liking what you are looking at.

    As one who has severe body image issues, I can identify on so many levels. Thank you so much for sharing such a wonderful image.

    BB xxx

  23. misfiery1 says:

    You are so brave to face your own insecurities! I see a beautiful, womanly body. I also have a lopsided breast. I didn’t notice yours. Maybe we fixate on our own perceived issues. I think you have lovely coloring to your skin also. I love my freckles!

  24. Sweetendirty says:

    You are beautiful! Thank you for sharing. I hope one day I will have the courage to show a full body picture like this.

  25. Everything about this photo makes me swoon. Every element you name – lopsided boobs, big belly covered in stretch marks, unkempt pubic hair – is uniquely yours, and is something to be celebrated. You are absolutely gorgeous, and this photo brought an enormous smile to my face. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  26. mariasibylla says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this photo, Charlie! Honestly reading your words made me tear up a bit. I too struggle with my self-image, and I often post photos here that are cropped to show the parts I like best. But occasionally, I’ll get brave and post something that pushes my boundaries and make me nervous. Doing so has definitely helped me see myself in a different light. I’m still working in it, but my self-image is definitely changing. Oh, there are days, but all I can say is keep it up. You are beautiful!

  27. Alice King says:

    Doing this took great courage and I can honestly say the picture is beautiful. Scars and stretch marks tell a story and curves are oh so sensual and sexy.

    The irony in this is like you I have the same issues and have yet to share a pic that is not cropped in some way

  28. You are gorgeous and inspiring. I hate my midsection and hide it at all costs. Which is ridiculous. We should all learn to love every part of us, and the message you are sending with this photo is miraculous. Much love to you, Charlie! xoxoxox

  29. Matt says:

    I really admire how brave you are, You are beautiful natural look i believe every stretch mark make you even more beautiful it has a story behind it, like a book

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  33. sub-Bee says:

    I don’t know how I missed this when you first published it but I fucking LOVE this!!

    I think you’re incredibly brave to show you as a whole, including those bits you don’t like, I haven’t found the courage to do so yet. Not that you need to worry, you are beautiful! I hadn’t noticed the lop sided boobs, just beautiful ones, I hadn’t noticed a big belly, just a whole verge ours you. As for the stretch marks, I love scars, I love trailing my fingers and tongue across them. We all have scars of some kind, they’re what make us who we are.

    You have inspired me and I will do something similar myself, thank you!

    • Charlie says:

      There are others reasons as well as to why these people decided to make horrible comments about me and the pictures on my blog, this post was just the catalyst. Molly wrote her Bully For You post about about it, which links to the everyday sexism post you wrote recently. Women are the worst for bring each other down when we should be the ones holding each up.

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