“Sometime’s we don’t do the things we want to do so that others wont know we want to do them.”*
Sometimes people don’t do the things for you that they do for other people. It messes with your head, it hurts and causes you to act out and make rash decisions.
This past weekend has been pretty anxiety filled, what with my new flatmate moving in on Saturday, so you would think that all the good things that happened on Sunday, the fantastic comments on my #SinfulSunday post and reaching the most daily views I’ve ever had on this blog, would of helped improve my mood.
Sadly they didn’t, I spent most of Sunday curled up in an anxiety filled ball on my bed constantly refreshing Twitter.
Initially my semi break from Twitter last week helped until I became overwhelmed with all of the anxious/depressive thoughts. I reverted back to how I always am in these moods, obsessed and needy.
As I’ve said before, when I am feeling particularly low I need reassurance and care from the people that I know, preferably from people I actually know in real life. That never works out though and I really need to figure out a way to make myself feel better that doesn’t involve other people.
Constantly checking Twitter, my blog stats, the comments other people are getting and giving on their #SinfulSunday posts like I’ve done today is not good!
I have come to realise that I am properly addicted to Twitter now. I’ve always had an addictive personality, whether it was drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, a guy, the way a guy makes me feel.
There has always been something.
Well not anymore!
I just can’t cope with it all.
*Yes, this quote is from the M. Night Shyamalan film The Village but I’ve always loved it.