Something I have come to realise lately is that blogging when angry, upset or feeling really depressed is probably not the best thing to do. I need to give myself time to put my thoughts into order and not act on impulse. Writing with such strong emotions most of the time means that what I write is very one sided, it’s incredibly self indulgent, self deprecating and sometime’s not necessarily 100% true, even if it feels completely true and honest to me at the time. It’s is also extremely tiring. Writing my thoughts out does help me but I really need to think before I hit that publish button.
Trust has always been a tricky thing for me when it comes to the relationships I have with men. I think it all stems from The Ex and the fact that he cheated on me repeatedly and constantly lied about it.
Friends on the other hand, I have always found it easy to trust them, I believe people when they say I can trust them. Recently it has started to come back and bite me in the arse.
Something happened where someone broke my trust and it has caused a quite a bit of hassle.
Nothing I have ever done in my life has been done with any malice. The person who broke my trust did so intentionally knowing what sort of fall out would happen.
The worst thing about it is that I don’t even know who this person is, I have a list of people who it could be but all of them have denied breaking my trust so one of them is lying to me, I doubt I’ll ever find out who this person is. It has made me exceptionally wary of which twitter “friends” I can now trust. Even with people who I know couldn’t of done this thing, I’m starting to doubt them and their intentions.
I do not want to be an untrusting person, sadly people make that very difficult.