*i understand that in the grand scheme of things 27 is not actually that old, just humour me*
I have never started my birthday in a more depressed state than I did crying my eyes out at 1am this morning.
I have always loved my birthday and always try to do something different/special for it, as someone who hates Christmas my birthday feels like the only thing every year that I really get to celebrate, not this year.
My plans for a big night out with old friends and work friends has completely fallen through, my work friends won’t come as its our social next weekend which I understand as they aren’t big partiers/drinkers, my normal friends however are just being dicks.
I created a Facebook event thing over a month ago and invited everyone to it as it was just the easiest way. Out of the 20 friends, 5 actually responded in some way, 5 out of 20! It’s not like the other 15 never use Facebook, they are all on it more than me!
I’ve always had a large group of friends and I don’t know what’s happened to it this year, is this what getting old is like? Growing apart from your friends so much that they don’t even have the courtesy to reply with a no any more, it not even like any of them have being married or having kids as an excuse.
So basically my big night out has turned into me and my two best friends, one of whom can’t even stay out late as he has work on Sunday even though I told him a month ago to book it off work. I’m just so disappointed.
I hate to use a Sex And The City reference but you know the episode when it’s Carries birthday and they arrange a big get together meal but she is left sat alone at the table for hours, making her realise how sad and alone she feels without a man in her life, someone mentions something about them being each others soul mates and then Mr Big turns up and she’s happy.
That is exactly how I feel, sad and alone, no one to spoil me and make my day special, I don’t even have a Mr Big to show up late and save the day.
So thats it, I’m sad, lonely, disappointed in the lack of effort of my friends and I had no presents to open this morning. If this is what getting old is like I don’t want it!
Honestly all I want to do today is cancel the pathetic plans I do have and either sit in my pants, drinking and watching Buffy or jump on a train to anywhere far away from here but I know I can’t.