The thought of having sex is giving me a big case of The Fear
Let me explain, I have a week off work next week and on one of the evenings I have arranged to go visit a guy and spend the night with him. We’ve been trying to meet up for a while now so I actually got over The Fear of meeting him a long time ago and I know I can trust him and I know he will guide me and tell me what he likes and doesn’t like but what is giving me The Fear is what if I’m crap in bed?!
As I’ve said before its been a long time since I had sex, even longer since I had good sex, what if I can’t remember how to do it? What if I suck at sucking him off? What if I’m just crap at everything?
I honestly feel like an inexperienced virgin and its a horrible feeling especially as I will be turning 27 tomorrow and I never even felt this way when I was an actual virgin, being the first of my friends to have sex at 15 put a stop to ever feeling that way.
I honestly don’t know how to get rid of this Fear, I know I just need to push it to the back of my mind as if I keep thinking about it, it will ruin the whole experience and it is one I’m really looking forward to.
I wish I could just be calm and go with the flow, I wish I wasn’t such a big worrier sometimes.