There I was happily scrolling through twitter when I saw a tweet by @Singlewarehouse with this article called The Art of Being a Real Woman by @detroitdate
Before I even clicked the link I knew I was going to find it offensive and I was not wrong.
Here are some of my favourite quotes from this article and my response to them.
“If you want a man – a real man, that is strong, confident and masculine, you’re going to have to put your imaginary penis away.”
– Sorry to all the men out there who aren’t strong, confident or masculine apparently this means you aren’t a real man! Obviously this is utter bullshit, be yourself that is the only way to be a real man.
“A women who may have some edges is great, yet he wants her to emphasis her soft, vulnerable, girly nature so much more.”
– I have so many “edges” I’m a fucking dodecahedron! These “edges” are what make me and every other person out there exactly who they are, to dismiss them, try to hide them and emphasis qualities that we think other people will approve of is wrong, it is lying to ourselves and being fake for other people’s benefit. How exactly does that make us real?
“If you behave as thought you are so independent that he is not necessary he will be entirely turned off”
– What kind of men is this women meeting that they will be turned off by strong independent women? Surely thats the man’s ‘problem’ not the women’s and no way should anyone change just because someone might not like it. There are plenty of men out there that strong independent women are actually a major turn on for.
“That’s not to say that they get to take the reins and always be in control but if you want him to stay around you need to submit to this notion somewhat.”
– So we should act like something we are not to give men the illusion that we have submitted to them when really we haven’t just so we can have them around longer? Sounds like some dangerous lying and game playing to me.
“Men want you to be feminine by smelling good, dressing sexy (not slutty) expressing your sweetness and being soft.”
– Our definitions of feminine are obviously completely different.
Also has this women interviewed all the men in the world? I’m so glad the men in my life aren’t as shallow as the men she describes. I imagine there are a lot of men out there that do want what she says above, I also imagine there are a lot of men that want the opposite of the above (hopefully there aren’t men out there that want women to smell bad though). You do not have to dress sexily or be sweet or soft to be feminine, you are a women, you always are and always will be feminine no matter what.
“Let go of the notion that you are showing weakness by acting like a women.”
– Why would I think acting like a women would make me weak? Women are strong capable people, there is nothing weak about us!
“Can you put your dick away long enough to slip into that dress and mind set that makes you feel sexy or are you going to keep making it a pissing contest?”
– Why do I have to slip on a dress to be and feel sexy? A women can feel her sexiest in any number of outfits, a little black dress or jeans and a top or sweats and her boyfriends t-shirt, different men will find different women sexy at completely different points, that is what makes us all brilliant, we are all different and we should be embracing it, not telling women that they aren’t real women if they don’t conform to your view of the world and what feminine means.
So how do I think we can all become “real” men and “real” women?
Just be yourself because you are amazing!
And don’t read silly “dating advice” articles, especially when written by @detroitdate, don’t even get me started on her other article “The slut phase and why every women should have one”