There is a season for everything.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to weep and a time to laugh
A time to mourn and a time to dance
I have read some great autumn themed blog posts lately and they helped inspire this post.
I have always loved the sunshine of summer but absolutely hate the sticky humid heat of it. I would much prefer to be too cold than too hot, it’s just easier to warm up than it is to cool down, just put on extra layers, go for a brisk walk, have a bath, snuggle up to someone you love, drink a cup of tea, a glass of whisky or even better mulled cider, my autumnal drink of choice.
In the summer its just so hard to cool down, there’s only a certain amount of clothes you can take off in public before it is seen as indecent.
Give me a cold crisp sunny day in autumn over any other kind of day in any other season, the air has such a fresh clean intoxicating smell on days like that.
This, my first summer in Liverpool instead of being one of enjoyment and experiencing new exciting things has been one of depressed self loathing and of feeling incredibly lonely.
I can’t go on feeling this way anymore.
This year the changing of the seasons is so much more significant for me as this summer has been the last one my grandad will experience. As the nights have started to draw in and the leaves begin to change from their vivid green to the varying colours of fire, I think the time has come to change with them and that starts with saying one final goodbye to one of the greatest men I’ve ever known next week.
Everyone always thinks of spring as the season of renewal and when it comes to nature I guess it is but I don’t think it is for people, autumn is.
Just think of being at school and starting the new school year, it was fresh and exciting and you would spend the autumn term deciding exactly who you were going to be that year.
This autumn I am going to change, I need to stop comparing myself to others, no one is perfect! Everyone has things about themselves that they hate. People wont notice the things you hate about yourself unless you keep pointing it out to them, which I do quite often.
Most importantly it is time to start being happy, my grandad would be devastated to know how depressed I have been even more so since his death. Next week I will be celebrating his life and I will start celebrating mine too.
Life is just too short to be miserable.
“I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried,
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing,
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing,
To think I did all that” – My grandad’s favourite song.