It has been a year since the persona “Charlie” was created and it is officially this blogs first birthday (Happy Birthday to me!)
Wow! How things can change in a year! This blog started out as a place for me to explain what was happening me and Hobbit Boy at the time, who would of thought a year later I would actually be living in Liverpool? I certainly didn’t at the time, It was about mid August last year that I decided that I wanted to move and I’ve been here nearly 7 months now!
I moved away from a situation what was very bad for me, have I moved somewhere that is better for me? I definitely think so!
When I first started this blog I didn’t know where I wanted it to go, I have always admired sex and relationship bloggers for their honesty and wanted to be just like them, sadly this blog has turned into more of a place for me to get whatever depressed or anxious feeling’s I have been feeling out in the open. It has been very cathartic however it probably doesn’t make very good reading. When I first moved to Liverpool I wanted to change this blog, do The Weekly Geek and posts about how ace this city is, again that didn’t turn out quite how I wanted.
I don’t know where I want this blog to go, I just want people to enjoy reading it so that moves me onto today’s point.
Lets talk about sex.
I’m going to be very honest with you all now.
I lost my virginity at 15, I can count on 2 hands, only just, how many guys I have had sex with (6 incase you were wondering.)
4 of those were in the first 2 years after loosing my virginity, then there was The Tripod and Hobbit Boy last year. I have been sexually active for just over 10 years and the first 6 years were when I had the most sex, 4 of those years were spent with The Ex. That seems really pathetic to me. It’s not even like when I have had sex over the past 4 or so years it was actually that good. With The Tripod it was but I wanted to do it more with him, he didn’t feel the same. The last time I had sex, with HB, it was just not good even though I imagined it would be amazing, think that was my downfall.
This needs to change!
There are so many things I haven’t tried, not really kinky things, just regular stuff like I’ve never had sex in a shower, outside, in a car. I’ve never been tied up or spanked, I don’t know if I will enjoy these things but I want to try them to find out.
Sex with a stranger is another thing, after reading girlonthenets blog about it, I realised, apart from losing my virginity where I had only met the guy earlier that day, I’ve never had sex with a stranger, I have always known and fancied the guy for a while before I’ve had sex with them. I’ve never met someone in a club and fucked them in the toilet or met someone for a first date and realised that I needed to have them right then and taken them home with me.
I think this will change soon.
I know why these things have never happened, I’m not as confident as I was when I was younger, when I was a teenager I would happily pull guys when we all went to parties, now I just don’t have the confidence.
This is something that needs to change.
It’s been so long since I had good sex I dont think I could cope having bad sex the next time I do it. I think I have found a guy that will make the next time I have sex awesome, I just hope my anxiety doesn’t get the better of me and stop me from doing something I really need and want.
So watch this space.