Holidays and Heartbreak

Every year I take the week of my birthday off work, this year as I had holiday days I needed to use up I took 2 weeks off. My holiday ends tomorrow and I really don’t want to go back to work.

For my actual birthday I went to Brighton with my two best friends, The Ex and his girlfriend. There was a bit of controversy the night before we were going as my best friend phoned me saying that The Ex had phoned him asking him to ask me if it was ok for The Exes girlfriend to come down to Brighton too. I had assumed he was going to being her anyway but it really annoyed me that he didn’t have the balls to ask me himself. his girlfriend and I get on quite well and it seems to just be him thats uncomfortable with the situation, which kind of makes me happy. I said yes she could come because I was thinking the more the merrier as 2 of my other friends had already pulled out. Once we were there there was no issues and we all had a great night, got very drunk and ending up dancing in a 90’s club till 4am.

The day after I got back from Brighton I headed up to Liverpool to visit my friend G and his girlfriend M, they were having a small party so I got to hang out with some of their friends who are all very cool people. One was a very cute and funny guy that I could see myself really fancying if I was to spend more time with him but he has a girlfriend, why are all the good ones taken? Had a wicked time exploring the city and going to the World Museum, if you have never been you should go, their ant exhibit is one of my favourite things.

Now on to the heartbreak…

While I was in Liverpool I got a text from my mum saying she had taken my cat Charlie to the vets as she’s been throwing up a lot lately. They found that she has a heart murmur and an inactive thyroid on top of her already having kidney disease. They made the decision that euthanasing her was the best thing for her as her health would just keep deteriorating.
I have had this cat since I was 11, I’m 26 now. I remember going to pick her out, one cat for me and one for my brother. She was the smallest, cutest, fluffiest thing that could sit in the palm of your hand. She would always want to sleep on your chest, I imagine to feel your heartbeat like they would feel their mothers. She was the most affectionate cat you would ever meet unlike her sister Ozzy (my brothers cat) who would scratch you just for looking at her

My mum booked the appointment for it for the day I got back from Liverpool, she picked me up from the train station and we went to her house. She had chosen a spot in the garden to bury Charlie and I helped dig the grave, the cat was watching me from the window doing thing. I swear she knew something was wrong, when we put her in her travel basket she was unusually calm and quiet.

She has always hated loud noises, hoovers, hair dryers etc so when the vet tried to shave a section on her leg where the injection would go she freaked out completely which was quite traumatic for my mum and I. They ended up having to trim the hair with scissors.

If you are sensitive you might not want to read the next bit.

When the vet first put the injection in he couldn’t find the vein the first couple of time and as I watched him finally inject the anesthesia, I saw the light go from my beautiful cats eyes. I can’t get the image of her dead eyes out of my head, something about the process made her tongue stick out, I nearly laughed out loud at that. Whenever I have to deal with something that requires a lot of emotion I have to laugh or make a joke , it is just how I cope.
When she had gone the vet wrapped her in a blanket and we took her home. How she was laid out she wouldn’t fit in the hole we had dug and as my mum couldn’t bare to do it, I had to unwrap her and curl her up like she was sleeping. She looked so peaceful.

i know people who don’t have pets or don’t like animals cant understand how you can grieve for a cat but she had been the only consistent thing in my life for over 14 years and now she’s gone. I’m glad i was with her in the end. I miss her so much already.

RIP Charlie

About Charlie

On twitter as @CharlieInThe
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