So today my current manager told me that she’s knows I’m leaving soon, apparently my old manger told her, which means one of my colleagues told her! It’s a little confusing.
I really want to move away from this town and my current job but I am terrified. Not just a little terrified I am absolutely shitting myself!
I’ve never done anything like this before. I moved to Birmingham for a couple of years but I was doing it with two friends and The Ex so it wasn’t so scary.
I am pinning a lot on this move, I want it to make me happy. There are a few reasons why I’m so unhappy at the moment, the major one is the fact that I’m so lonely, when I first moved back to my home town all my friends were here, they have now all moved on to different places and I’m stuck here, bored, alone.
The second reasons is having to live with housemates, who piss me off and gross me out. I really want a place that is all mine. I can decorate how I want, no one will steal my food and I won’t have to share a bathroom with a man who frequently pisses on the toilet seat!
The third is being single and the dating history hold this place has over me, I moved here when I was 11 and pretty much everywhere in the town I have some memory of some guy, lately its all been about Hobbit Boy.
This town is so small that when I went on my first ever first date in August last year ( I know at 25 thats a bit strange) and afterwards never spoke or saw the guy again, it was that bad a date. Then on New Year’s Day this year when I went to wetherspoons for breakfast with my friends and he was there, it was very awkward.
I’m scared that I will be just as unhappy there.
I’m scared I will be just as lonely there, even though I have some great friends there.
I’m scared to leave incase Hobbit Boy changes his mind about me.
I’m scared I still won’t move on from Hobbit Boy. Do I tell him that I’m leaving?
I’m scared to leave a job I know I’m very good at.
I’m scared to actually act like a proper adult.
I know all of this is silly, I follow someone twitter who moved to Kuwait for Christ sakes, at least Liverpool is in the same country!
But what if it all turns out to be shit? Surely it can’t be as bad as here?