Some people will wonder why I am still interested in Hobbit Boy, someone on twitter last night even said to me “He is a cock! I hope you can see that”
I really wish I could explain it properly, I just think we could be great together. However what I actually want from him and from life has changed.
My light bulb moment happened a week or so ago. It finally dawned on me that being single isn’t what is making me depressed, not having a full time job, living in a house with people I don’t like and my best friends living in different parts of the country is what is making me so unhappy.
I really do love my independence, I love that I can just visit my friends, wherever they may be in the country, at the drop of a hat. I can be selfish and spend my days off doing exactly what I want without the thought that I’m neglecting someone. All I miss from relationships really is sex.
So I told HB that I never mentioned wanting a relationship with him and that I just want to enjoy life and have some fun. We have been messaging again, not constantly this time which I think is much more healthy. I’ve not had a reply to my last whatsapp message and I can see that he’s online and has read it but I don’t actually care. It is a very odd feeling after being hung up on him for so long but I’m happy.
You may think I’m kidding myself and that he’s just using me and I’ll get hurt all over again but it really is like a light has switched on.
Something happened earlier this year that meant I nearly lost one of my best friends and finally it has made me realise that life is way too short to be unhappy especially because of a boy.
Till next time.